If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this land …

Songwriters: Lee Hays and Pete Seeger.

Seeger and Hays’ ‘If I had a Hammer’, a song about justice and freedom, was first played by the writers at a testimonial dinner in 1949 supporting the US Communist Party. 1949 was the same year Seeger finally wised up to his former friend, and hero Joseph Stalin, disowning him for being the butcher that he had been all along. The song was eventually rebranded to support the civil rights and labor movements of the 1950s and 60s. After the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Lyndon Johnson’s mid-sixties Great Society War on Poverty programs passed at the Federal level, the song found a new home among the environmentalists. With only a hammer in your fist all the world’s problems big, small, and imagined are nails.

Below are a few recent and past headlines concerning climate change which taken in aggregate are a mash of the silly. Climate change in today’s jargon, by the way, equals global warming. Models of any kind, whether on population, food, weather, climate, prices, crime, are not reliable more than a few years into the future and in the case of weather a few days at most.

Fresh water is bad.

Small Lakes Keep Growing Across The Planet, And It’s a Serious Problem

Science Alert reports (5 December 2022): “A new study has revealed that small lakes on Earth have expanded considerably over the last four decades – a worrying development, considering the amount of greenhouse gases freshwater reservoirs emit.”

Frozen fresh water is good, but it could turn into fresh water.

Climate Change: Kilimanjaro’s and Africa’s Last Glaciers to go by 2050, Says UN

BBC reports (3 November 2022): “Glaciers across the globe – including the last ones in Africa – will be unavoidably lost by 2050 due to climate change, the UN says in a report.”

Salt water is good.

Great Salt Lake Could Disappear by 2027 Researchers Warn

Axios reports (9 January 2023): “If the Great Salt Lake continues to shrink at its current rate, it could disappear in the next five years, according to researchers from more than a dozen universities and environmental organizations.”

Salt water is double good because it’s main use is to make frozen water for Hollywood A-listers.

36 Year Timelapse Shows How Much The Great Salt Lake Has Shrunk

Unofficial Networks reports (5 May 2022): “The Great Salt Lake has decreased twenty feet in elevation from the record high set in 1985 to the record low achieved last year. … Pray to whatever god, gods, higher power, or whatever you believe in. Utah, and the American west need water, badly. (Editor’s note: the Great Salt Lake is not a source of drinking or irrigation water, but it is the primary source of water for the snow that falls on the Sundance Resorts. When it melts in the spring it turns into bad fresh water.)

Frozen fresh water is still good, and fortuitously the bad fresh water will take longer to appear.

Half of World’s Glaciers will Vanish by Year 2100 Due to Global Warming, Study Says

UPI reports (6 January 2023): “Half of the world’s glaciers will melt and disappear before the turn of the next century, according to alarming new research that predicts greater fallout from global warming despite meaningful efforts in recent years to address environmental concerns.

Frozen fresh water is still good even if you must admit your models are bad.

Glacier National Park is Replacing Signs That Predicted Its Glaciers Would be Gone by 2020

CNN reports (8 January 2020): “The signs at Glacier National Park warning that its signature glaciers would be gone by 2020 are being replaced.

The signs in the Montana park were added more than a decade ago to reflect climate change forecasts at the time by the US Geological Survey, park spokeswoman Gina Kurzmen told CNN.

In 2017, the park was told by the agency that the complete melting off [sic] of the glaciers was no longer expected to take place so quickly due to changes in the forecast model, Kurzmen said.”

Frozen water could be bad when it appears but it’s hard to tell because the models are not good.

Snowfalls are Now Just a Thing of the Past

The Independent reports (20 March 2000): “Britain’s winter ends tomorrow with further indications of a striking environmental change: snow is starting to disappear from our lives. …Heavy snow will return occasionally, says Dr. Viner, but when it does we will be unprepared. …Snow will probably cause chaos in 20 years’ time, he said.”