Sarcasm Slightly Cold

Stacy Schiff, biographer of Cleopatra VII and history of Egypt and Rome during her reign as Egypt’s queen is an entertaining writer with a sardonic sense of humor.

Wit of Schiff I: Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, after a three-year separation, reunited in 37 BC in Antioch. They rekindle their relationship, Cleopatra becomes pregnant, and they part again in early 36 BC, he for a military campaign in Parthia and she to go south to meet with Herod in Jerusalem.

In the course of the visit she met Herod’s fractious extended family…Herod had the misfortune to share an address with several implacable enemies, first among them his contemptuous, highborn mother-in-law, Alexandra…his insinuating mother; a grievance-loving, overly loyal sister; and Mariamme, the cool, exceptionally beautiful wife…who to his frustration, somehow could never get past the fact that Herod had murdered half her family.

Wit of Schiff II: Mark Anthony after conquering Armenia, which included parts of modern Turkey and Azerbaijan, in 34 BC, “returned to Alexandria in triumph, taking with him not only the collected treasure of Armenia, but its King, his wife, their children, and the provincial governors. Out of deference to their rank, he bound the royal family in chains of gold.

Trivia: No good, confirmed likenesses of either Cleopatra or Herod exist. Recently a bust from the Egyptian Taposiris Magna temple near Alexandria has been recovered which the archaeologist, Kathleen Martinez claims is a likeness of Cleopatra. Other experts disagree.

Source: Cleopatra: A Life by Stacy Shiff, 2010. Marble Bust Found, Gadgets 360, 2024.

The Most Unkindest Cut of All

Mark Anthony opens his famous, but fictional, eulogy to Julius Caesar with 7 words of endearment and authority; Aristotelian pathos and ethos, that have become as familiar as blue sky to fans of Shakespeare and English lit students everywhere: “Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your ears”.

Julius Caesar, a tragedy by Shakespeare, written around 1599, was based on Caesar’s life and death as documented in Plutarch’s Parallel Lives.

With pathos, logos and a chariot laden with irony, Anthony turns initial honor for Brutus and Caesar’s ambition inside out. He brings honor to Caesar and lays ambition on Brutus, along with Cassius. He brings condemnation to the conspirators and love for Caesar.

The first few lines of Anthony’s Eulogy:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest–
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men–
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

Source: “Julius Caesar” by William Shakespeare, Act 3, Scene II. Plutarch’s Parallel Lives. Graphic: Marlon Brando as Mark Antony in the 1953 film “Julius Caesar”