Enough Already

Alien ConvenantAlien Covenant (2017)

els –  2.5/10

IMDb – 6.5/10

Amazon – 3.5/5 stars

Rotten Tomatoes Critics – 6.4/10

Rotten Tomatoes Audience – 3.3/5

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Written by:  Story – Jack Paglen and Michael Green.  Screenplay – John Logan and Dante Harper.

Produced by: David Giler et.al.

Music by: Jed Kurzel

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterson and Billy Crudup

Samuel Coleridge, author of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, stated that a written unbelievable narrative that was shown to have a “semblance of truth” could be enjoyed by the reader or audience by suspending judgement on the implausible parts. This is usually stated as the willing suspension of disbelief or to believe the unbelievable.  J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, took this concept in a different direction by suggesting that narrative have a secondary belief system within an inner consistency of reality.  Tolkien believed that suspension of disbelief was only required when the story’s plot line does not maintain an internally consistent fictional world.

Alien Covenant fails not because of poor direction or bad acting but because the writers of the story and screenplay put forth an implausible plot that destroys everything else the movie has to offer, and that’s before you even discover it is a complete rehash of the five previous Alien movies (I refuse to add in the Predator vs Alien movies).  The writers somehow believe that the Peter Weyland is willing to put up a fortune of bitcoins and pieces of eight to build, outfit and send off a colossal starship containing thousands of human embryos and adults, capable of traversing the vast parsecs of empty space to find a suitable planet for human colonization; and then staff the running of the ship with unintelligent and irrational beings that are incapable of assessing risk or following protocols, all the while compounding the silliness of their decision-making by having spouses or significant others amplifying their emotional buffoonery.  Gads, why not just leave it to Mother, Father, David or Walter.  With computers or androids running the show the writers can at least insert some plausible scenarios for illogical scenes that don’t have to rely on the characters and or audiences being absolute morons.  If  all else fails maybe Albert, Ham and Gordo have some offspring that are up for the task.

Alien Covenant goes where the previous Alien movies have already gone. Good androids, bad androids. Sniff and closely examine all gooey eggs, repeat endlessly. Find the Alien, lose the Alien. Burn, nuke, melt, freeze, shoot, chop, slice, dice, mince, atomize the Alien. How about we just bury the concept so deep that all the Alien acid combined will not be able to uncover it again.

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