Bilbo’s goodbye at his 111^th birthday party:“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

Oscar Wilde, a virtuoso for expressing dripping contempt. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Dorothy Parker, a sharp tongue and deceptive digs, “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.“

Mark Twain, a master of eye pokes, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”